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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter
said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph.."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!"
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past.. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?"
"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!"
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?"
"Never," said Ralph.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph
was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another
egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he
felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
"Ralph! Wake up. You shit in the bed!"
fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter
said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph.."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!"
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past.. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?"
"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like I'm gonna explode!"
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?"
"Never," said Ralph.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph
was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another
egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he
felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
"Ralph! Wake up. You shit in the bed!"
